Forever 16
by dreamcatcher-022
Summary: Lost lovers reunite, but in another time and place. (implied Stan and Kyle) Very dark and angsty. WARNING! There will be favorite character death.
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: NO, I DON'T OWN SOUTH PARK OR THE CHARACTERS. I DON'T OWN MATT AND TREY OR COMEDY CENTRAL.

A/N: I appreciate everyone's time and effort they put into reading and reviewing Ike's Song but unfortunately, I just wasn't getting anywhere with it. I might put it back up once it's all finished, but don't hold your breath. Here's another story to add to the dark and angst bin.

WARNINGS:

IMPLIED STAN AND KYLE SLASH, BUT NO ACTUAL SLASH. VERY DARK AND EXTREMELY ANGSTY.

**All reviews are welcome.**

_Thinking while in class..._

_Stan Marsh_

_God, why does he have to be so beautiful? Why can't he be ugly and deformed? Why do I have to fall in love with him? I know I'll never get to have him. Oh shit. Is he staring at me? Does he know? Whew. False alarm. I would just die if he ever found out. I wouldn't want to lose him as a friend. He's my very best friend in the whole world. We share and do almost everything together._

_ I wish he weren't so, there. Sometimes I wish he'd just disappear. Sometimes I wish we were never friends. That way I wouldn't have to look at him and appreciate his beauty and the kind and caring person he is. Why do I have to be this way? I hate myself. I hate that I feel this way because he and I will never be. I don't want to tell him and risk losing everything. Then things would certainly be awkward and never the same again. _

_ Why does his hair have to be so damn curly? I wish I could run my fingers through it right now. Hell, I wish I could grab him and kiss him for all he's worth. Why does he have to sit next to me? I can practically feel his body heat, we're so close. He looks so cute concentrating like that. No. I could never tell him. It would break his heart. The most sensible thing to do is to forget the whole thing. But I can't. It's all I can think about. I can't stop. I'm afraid._

_Kyle Brovfloski_

_Wow. He sure looks good today. Even more so than usual. Why does he have to be so cute? Why do I have to feel this way? And about my best friend? Why can't life just be simple and non judgmental? I know exactly what my parents and friends will think if and when I tell them about, well, my situation. I can't stand the thought of no one ever talking to me again. Life would be so very lonely. Life would be lonely without HIM. I could never live with myself if I lost him. _


	2. CH 2

The silvery glow of the moon beamed down on Kyle as he wearily unlocked the front door to his house. All he wanted to do right now was crawl into bed and fall into a deep, deep sleep. He was so exhausted, he thought he would collapse right there on the front steps. He managed to make it into his home and he headed upstairs and straight for the bathroom.

He flicked the light switch on and there he stood, frozen in shock. It took a moment for the realization to sink in, and when it did, it hit Kyle full force in the face like an angry fist. "Oh my God. OH MY GOD!" He yelled. He was hysterical. He kept chanting it over and over, finally falling to his knees in grief.

"Stan. Why?" He cried. "Why would you do something like this?" He sobbed into his hands. He couldn't stand to look at all the blood. He couldn't bear to see the deep and angry slash wounds Stan had done to himself with the fairly big and fairly sharp knife that had fallen to the floor. Something compelled him to look over at the sink. He welcomed the distraction, but only to be even more disturbed. He stood up shakily and picked up a piece of paper torn from a notebook. It was folded in half and had a single name written on the outside: Kyle.

_Dear Kyle,_

_I know how shocked and upset you must be right now. The past few months have been total hell for me. You were on my mind almost every second of every day. I didn't know if you were that way or if I should even tell you, so I had no idea what to do. I was thinking about you constantly. I would even imagine you in my arms and kissing me. At night, I would dream of a secret, sexual rendezvous between you and me. Then I would wake up, ashamed and disappointed. Ashamed that I had such ililicit thoughts about my best friend. Disappointed that you weren't really by my side, holding me. the stress and pressure of not being able to tell you or anyone else was eating away at me._

_I don't ask or beg for your forgiveness. That would be ridiculous. No. The only thing I ask of you right now is understanding. Please try to understand what I did and why I did it. I only did this because I loved you. I fell in love with you._

_Don't think for one second that I never cared about you. Because I do. I cared so much for you, I had to this. I had to free my soul. I knew I would never have you. You were forbidden love. You were just a dream, an illusion. You're so beautiful. Never forget that. I'll always love you._

_Stan_

Kyle's tears were beginning to soak through the paper, but he didn't care. He let it slip through his fingers and flutter to the ground. He forced himself to look at the dead body of his best friend. "Why Stan? Why did you do this to yourself, to me? We could have talked this through. We could have worked it out together. We could've been something." Kyle murmured to himself.

Suddenly, he wasn't so tired anymore. He'd never been more alert in his entire life. He just stared and stared at the lifeless body, his thoughts going a hundred miles an hour. But one thing remained crystal and painfully clear to Kyle. "I'm sorry you never knew. I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you." Kyle curled up in a ball in one corner, sobbing and rocking back and forth, his heart breaking in a million pieces. "I fell in love with you, too."


	3. CH 3

3 weeks later...

Kyle sat, staring blankly at nothing. Keeping his emotions in check at Stan's funeral was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. He almost lost it at the cemetery. He had to look away as they lowered the coffin in the freshly dug grave. The pain was still fresh. He was still grieving. It was a major struggle just to get out of bed and go to school every day, but he'd managed to do so up until this point. Now, he just didn't care anymore about anything. Not school, his family, friends. He didn't allow anyone to comfort him. He was afraid of what he might do to if they tried. He was afraid he'd lash out in anger or worse yet, physical violence. He was still so fucked up.

The cold glint of the gun seemed to mock Kyle. he picked it up, caressing it and relishing in its purpose. Still holding the gun, he went to the kitchen table to write his own suicide note:

_The world is a bitter and cruel place, brought on by unnecessary pain and suffering._

_In order to end one's nightmares, one must resort to self independence._

_I consider myself independent. I do not rely on others to help me._

_I have lost all desire and will to live._

_The only desire I've ever longed for is gone from my life._

_ No longer can I sit by idly and watch my existence just float away._

_I can't close the door to my pain._

_With these last words, I hope to whoever is reading this can understand why I did this._

_I did this because I love Stan. I always have and I always will._

_So please, don't mourn my death. As hard as it may be to do so, instead celebrate it._

_Celebrate the fact that I've found the one true love of my life again._

_Celebrate the fact that I will no longer have to suffer pain and sadness._

_Always remember that I love you and am truly sorry for what I have done._

_Kyle_

He placed the pen down on the table and picked the gun up again. No one in the world knew what Kyle Brovfloski was about to do. No one knew the sorrow he was feeling this very moment. No one could ever understand how he was feeling. No one knew that he'd lost the only boy he'd ever loved. He'd lost his best friend.

"Your dreams can finally come true, Stan." Kyle said, smiling through his tears. He lifted the gun to his head and pointed it directly at his skull. Without a moment's hesitation, he pulled the trigger and suddenly, he was no longer. At last, the world could rest in peace. Stan and Kyle could finally be together, but will remain forever 16.


End file.
